I sleep in longer these days. I don’t set the alarm anymore. My walk from the bedroom to the coffee pot has become relaxed. The sips of the bitter, sweetened, hot liquid have become more ritualistic than out of rushed necessity.
I have been using the same mug for weeks, washed of course, it’s become an artifact of comfort, just like my house slippers.
The words “schedule” and “routine” seem foreign to me during this pandemic, and I struggle to remember what day it is. I take a guess at the time, by judging the angle of sunlight entering the windows.
Life as I know it has been put on hold, and for many others in the world as well. We are all encouraged to “stay home, to stay healthy” by the Centers for Disease Control, during the novel coronavirus outbreak. Statewide guidelines also encourage staying home.
I am not considered an essential employee, and have not been able to work since March 13. Yes, it was a Friday.
I have suddenly become a first-grade instructor and I am also a student. I am trying to figure out the technology I need to be successful. School has moved to the internet for my daughter and myself and is now called "distance learning". We are starting to get the hang of things, I think. There has been a lot of back and forth communication with the elementary school, and it makes me realize they are also just begining to figure things out.
My trips to the grocery store have been few and far between. I now have two shopping lists, as my mother is immuno-compromised. My daughter stays with my mother, in hopes I am keeping them both as safe as possible during this time of uncertainty.
There are now tape marks on the floors of the stores to encourage social distancing of 6 feet apart, advised by the CDC as well . Some people are good at keeping a distance while others are not.
There is a strange mixture of people wearing masks, gloves, both or neither. There is obvious confusion about who should be doing what, and many people have fear in their eyes. I hope mine seem kind.
Lysol, hand sanitizer and toilet paper are considered “endangered species” and have been non-existent in my store trips. We have had to make adjustments to many things, including the soap we’ve been using, how we exercise, and even some adjustments to our diet. We have been forced to get creative.
I have improvised many meals due to bare shelves at the grocery store. I have debated digging out my grandmother's cookbook from the 1950’s that has recipes like 'Dried Corn Pudding' and strange-looking gelatin dishes.
Many could argue that a full belly is still a full belly, and soap cleans no matter what brand. I would say that is mostly true, however, my body has let me know in many different ways that it can tell the difference and it is not happy!
As a single mother, a student and employee there have been many restless nights of feeling guilty about the amount of time that is consumed, just trying to make our lives better in the long run.
Through the many challenges, during this time, I have found a silver lining.
All the “I’m too busy right now” statements, I have apologetically spoken to my daughter, have now become an excited question, “What should we do together next?”
We have planted flowers, made bird feeders, played with Legos, baked cookies, painted, written letters to people we miss, dressed up with different daily themes and much more. Laughter still fills the air in our home.
I take this slowed pace as time to reflect on all that I am grateful for, and to grieve all that I miss. I am not in the best position, but I am not in the worst position either.
For those people who are overwhelmed and find themselves in despair, I would encourage them to find their calm in the chaos, keep their minds busy and to remain hopeful that a better future will come. I hope everyone is able to find a silver lining.
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